Death Is Not Always The End
by Gleek1997
Summary: Kurt died a few days before their 15th anniversary. Today marked the one year anniversary of Kurt's death. Written for Bente aka FlawlessKaine :) Rated M for slight sexual reference and some violent scenes.


Death Is Not Always The End

**A/N:**** Written for Bente aka FlawlessKlaine, you should all go and read her stories because they are amazing! One day Bente and I will live in Unicorn land with all you fellow gleeks :D Lufu Bente! OK, on with the story. Warning: Tissues may be required :'( **_**italics**_** are Blaine's memories, if that isn't clear.**

Kurt died a few days before their 15th anniversary. Today marked the one year anniversary of Kurt's death. Blaine hadn't been coping very well; everything reminded him of the beautiful boy he once called his husband; still does. They'd decided on a Christmas wedding and it was the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever seen. It was perfect. He remembered the way Kurt looked, it was the happiest he'd ever seen him. His radiant smile, his eyes that sparkled with joy and excitement, his hair covered with snowflakes but he didn't care. The reception was lovely, a small house party with just a few friends, family and work colleagues. Everyone joined in with the celebration and it was magical.

Being married to Kurt was the most natural thing to occur; he felt so at ease when he was in Kurt's presence. Kurt made him happy, kept him together, and kept him whole. Now Kurt was gone and all hope was lost. He no longer walked around with that dopey smile on his face. He no longer smiled. He no longer knew how to love. Since that terrible night he'd stopped going to work and stopped hanging out with friends. He lived in his and Kurt's apartment and lived of off take away. He mopped around their apartment all day, just remembering the way he felt when Kurt held him close.

_Kurt came home from work later than expected. He put his key into the door of the Anderson-Hummel apartment and pushed open the mahogany door. He walked through the door; closing it gently to prevent himself from waking Blaine. Blaine was still awake though. He could hear Kurt moving about the apartment, trying and failing to be quiet. He couldn't suppress his laughter anymore as he heard Kurt swear in the front room. Kurt opened their bedroom door and walked towards their bed. "You think me getting hurt is funny?" Kurt couldn't stop himself from a giggling as well though. Kurt's laughter sent shivers down his spine, it was music ringing in his ears, a beautiful angelic sound. Kurt got into bed beside Blaine and wrapped his arm around his torso. Blaine loved the way Kurt held him like a precious relic, so much love in that gentle touch. Kurt's lips placed gentle kisses to his neck and the two of them fell asleep in each other's arms. _

Tears began to fall down Blaine's cheeks; the memories flooding back as he lay in their bed. What bothered Blaine the most is that people carried on like he never existed in the first place. They laughed and joked and where happy. How could they possibly be happy? That's when he saw it. The curtain moved and Kurt stepped out from behind it. Blaine sat up cautiously, expecting him to just disappear, but instead Kurt came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. "Blaine you can't live like this" Blaine was stunned, what was Kurt talking about? "You have to move on Blaine, you can't live like this" Kurt reached his hand out and placed it over Blaine's "I know you love me but you need to move on" Blaine began crying even more, he couldn't speak. "I'm not here anymore but I can still help you. I can help you move on. Now I can't leave this apartment because this is the place I died, but if you do as I say, you can live again. Most importantly, you can live without me" Blaine didn't think it was possible to live without Kurt by his side but as it was Kurt saying this, he was willing to try. "I'm not asking you to do anything tonight; that would be harsh. For tonight, I can hold you and we can fall asleep together for old time's sake" Blaine smiled slightly, Kurt was back. Blaine lay back down in bed and felt the familiar arms wrap around him, holding him. He could feel hose precious lips, kissing him. He could feel Blaine loving him. Blaine drifted off into a peaceful sleep, for the first time in a long time.

...

_When Blaine awoke, Kurt was gone. He pushed back the covers and moved towards the kitchen, Kurt was standing next to the cooker making pancakes, and the smell filled all of his senses. He leant against the wall admiring Kurt from behind with a small smirk on his lips. "I can feel your stare Blaine. Do you like what you see?" Kurt turned around and crossed his arms. _

"_Nah, I love what I see. I love you" Blaine walked over to Kurt and kissed him fully on the mouth, wrapping his arms around Kurt. Kurt untangled his own arms and wrapped them around Blaine's neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss, running his tongue across Blaine's bottom lip, silently begging for entrance. Blaine willingly allowed Kurt's tongue to explore his mouth. But all too soon, Kurt returned to making his pancakes. "Tease" Blaine walked out of the kitchen and jumped into the shower._

The memories filled Blaine's dreams, however when he woke up this time, Kurt was still silently sleeping next to him. He smiled and brushed Kurt's hair out of his eyes, he always looks so peaceful when he sleeps. Blaine had slept in 'til just past midday which was very rare for him. Blaine was usually someone who lived on barely any sleep at all. Kurt began to wake up, his eyes slowly opening. "Morning Blaine" He'd missed the sound of Kurt's sleep filled voice. He'd missed waking up next to the beautiful boy. He'd just missed Kurt.

"Morning beautiful"

"Right, time to get to work, the first thing I want you to do is go into that bathroom and take a nice long shower. Then have a shave, you're starting to look like a cave man. Then I want you to leave this apartment to get some proper food in here" Blaine looked a little nervous about leaving the apartment. "Don't worry Blaine; I'll still be here when you get back, for now at least." Blaine gave a small smile before making his way to the bathroom dorr before turning back.

"Will you be joining me?" He winked and awaited Kurt's reply.

"I can't, you need to move on"

"I don't want to move on Kurt, I love-"

"Don't Blaine, don't say it, it'll only make things harder. Just go and shower"

Blaine walked into the bathroom and looked at his reflection. What had happened to him? His beard was longer than ever, he looked really tired, he'd started to put on weight. He didn't look like himself anymore. He wasn't himself anymore. Not without Kurt. He undressed and stepped into the shower. The warm water fell onto his body and he could feel some tension release from his shoulders. His mind cleared even if it was only for a few moments.

_Blaine could here footsteps approaching the bathroom door, he knew it was Kurt. The door opened and he could here Kurt's feet walk along the tiled floor. As he looked out through the shower glass, he could see a blurred figure. Blaine faced the shower wall to remove the shampoo from his hair. A few moments later the shower door opened and Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's torso, kissing his neck lovingly. Blaine moaned at the sensation and turned around in Kurt's arms so he could face him. Blaine's lips latched onto Kurt's and they kissed passionately for what felt like hours. The two reluctantly pulled away to catch their breath. Kurt pushed Blaine against the shower, sucking on Blaine's collar bone-_

"Hurry up Blaine, you have other stuff to do today" Blaine switched off the shower, stepped out and wrapped a towel around his lower body. He moved over to the sink and found his razor; it would take a long time to shave off the monstrosity that had grown on his face.

About ten minutes later, Blaine stepped out from the bathroom, still wearing his towel. "That's better, you look more presentable" Blaine couldn't help snickering at that. "Now get dressed, it's time for you to get out of this apartment." Blaine sighed; Kurt never was one to let him rest. Blaine opened his wardrobe doors and picked out his black polo shirt, red skinny jeans and a multi-coloured bowtie. He could remember the first day he attended McKinley, the way Kurt's face lit up when he found out about Blaine's transfer. "Blaine, you can't wear that. You can't try and re-live the past, what's done is done, you have to move on." Blaine looked upset but placed the clothes back into is closet and instead took out a simple blue shirt and dark wash skinny jeans. He returned to the bathroom and minutes later came out looking more like Blaine.

Kurt walked over to him and held him at arm's length. "You look good Blaine, just how I remember you." There was a brief moment where Kurt just looked into Blaine's eyes and smiled. "Right time to go out Blainers, the supermarket awaits your arrival" Blaine laughed at the way Kurt would make things seem more exciting than they were. He moved to the table near the bed, picked up his wallet and keys, and left the apartment. As he walked down the corridor his mind filled with thoughts about how Kurt wouldn't be there when he got home. It would feel like Kurt had betrayed him. However, if Kurt promised he'd still be there, then he would be.

...

Blaine walked into the supermarket; hundreds of memories came flooding back to him... memories of him and Kurt. They always went to the supermarket together, so being there alone was all very new to Blaine. He walked down the aisles of food, trying to decide what he wanted over the next week. At home his cupboards were practically empty, the fridge too. He basically needed to shop as if it was the first time. He went and picked up everything he needed for a week's shopping, including bread, milk, butter and the other essentials. Kurt always used to do the cooking in their apartment; he knew nothing about the subject. Living alone was a new experience for Blaine; he'd always lived with someone, first his parents, then with other students at Dalton, then back with his parents, and then with Kurt. But now, he had to live alone.

...

Blaine walked back into the apartment and saw Kurt sitting at the vanity table. The lights that decorated the mirror highlighted every part of Kurt's face, making him look even more angelic. Blaine moved towards the kitchen and unpacked the shopping. Kurt spoke from where he sat "Well done, you managed shopping without me." Kurt laughed half-heartedly "If you can do that, you can live without me. I'm surprised you actually brought something Blaine. You normally relied on me to do the shopping, but you did a pretty good job yourself." Blaine couldn't help smiling. "You think you can manage to cook for yourself? No more take away Blaine; they're not good for you"

"I can manage Kurt, thank you" Blaine began taking out the ingredients he would need in order to make a chicken stir fry. He made his way over to the bookcase where Kurt kept all the recipe books he'd bought in order to teach Blaine some basic skills. He picked up a book with a simple cover title "50 best recipes" and turned to page 46. He moved over to the kitchen again and began preparing his meal.

Whilst he was cooking he couldn't feel Kurt's presence and he hated that. He placed his meal on the dining table and sat across from was Kurt. He was back again. Blaine wondered if he could only see Kurt when he wasn't busy and that made him feel sick. He always had time for Kurt, his Kurt, his husband. Kurt was the only thing he cared about in this cruel world. He was the only glimmer of hope in Blaine's miserable life. He was the only thing he looked forward to seeing when he woke up in the morning. He was the only person he needed in his life. He was his life. There was no way he was going to turn his back on Kurt. He couldn't do what Kurt was asking of him. He hated the fact that he could live without him, he just didn't want to. He needed Kurt. Kurt needed him.

"Kurt, I can't, I can't do this" Tears started falling down his tanned cheeks. "I can't forget you Kurt, there is no way in hell I can move on"

"You can Blaine, you've shown that. You will live perfectly fine without me. You don't need me, you think you do but you don't. Blaine, just try ok, for me? You have to try and get your feet back on the ground and I have a few more things for you to do. Trust me it will get easier. Now, tomorrow you will go to the recording studio in town and you'll play for them. Being a musician was always your dream; it's time for you to start living those dreams and see where they take you."

Blaine stared down at his food, it didn't seem as appealing now. He felt sick down to his stomach, how could he think about his dreams when all of Kurt's dreams had been crushed? He got up from the table and dragged his feet towards their bedroom. It would always be theirs, his and Kurt's. He tucked himself under his duvet and cried into his pillow. Things were changing too fast.

...

Blaine woke up at 8:35am, he knew what he had to do today but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd already left Kurt once; he didn't feel comfortable doing it again. He stared at the clock and prayed that time could turn back and things could return to how they were. He lay there for about ten minutes before he got out of bed.

Blaine felt Kurt's presence in the room and he knew he couldn't disobey Kurt's orders; he had to head for the studio today. He opened his wardrobe and took out a plain white shirt, black trousers, a black jacket and a black bowtie. Once he was dressed he looked in the mirror and laughed because he looked like a special agent working for mi6. He saw Kurt standing in the doorway smiling at him. "Once again you've impressed me. You look amazing Blaine and today you've made the decision to try and achieve your dreams" Kurt's smile broadened "Good luck Blaine; don't forget your guitar" Kurt winked and then disappeared. Blaine hated it when Kurt just vanished and it seemed to be happening more often; Kurt wasn't around as much lately.

Blaine slung his guitar over his shoulder and picked up his keys. He looked in the mirror once more and fixed his hair before leaving the apartment. It was a short walk into town and Blaine enjoyed being outside again, it was refreshing.

_ Kurt and Blaine walked hand in hand; the birds creating music to fill their silence. It was perfect. The summer breeze mixed with the feel of their hands intertwined made the perfect date. It was about 6 weeks after the regional's competition; Kurt and Blaine had admitted their feelings for each other and were enjoying their first proper date. They walked down the road towards the cinema to watch the latest Harry Potter film. Some people ignored them however there was the occasional person who would look down their nose at them and send slurs their way. It was difficult to be an out teen in Lima, Ohio however when you had someone to go through it with, it was simple._

_They walked through the front doors of the cinema and purchased tickets and popcorn. Blaine was a huge Harry Potter fan, but he couldn't drag his eyes away from Kurt to actually watch the film. He was beautiful._

_Half way through the film, Kurt looked over to Blaine and saw him staring. He laughed lightly before pressing his lips against Blaine's. It was only a gentle, barely there, kiss but it showed love and passion. It was the best type of kiss._

Blaine stood outside the studio; frozen to the spot. It's time to begin isn't it?__He pushed open the door and took a couple of shaky steps up to the main desk. There was a female receptionist at the computer, her slick black hair pulled back into a tidy bun. She worse a knee length, tight, black skirt with a white blouse tucked into it and 6-inch black stilettos. She had small black framed glasses perched on the edge of her nose and she was fully concentrated on the monitor in front of her. When she heard Blaine approach she looked up and scrutinized Blaine. "May I help you?" Her voice was smooth and gentle, sweet actually.

"Erm, yes I have a booking with Mr A Smith for an audition? My name's Blaine Anderson" He was nervous; this was the first time he'd ever done something like this. His looked down at his shows and played with the hem of his shirt whilst the receptionist found his name on the system.

"Oh yes, here you are. Room 23, it's just down the hall on the right." She could sense how nervous Blaine was and offered him a warm smile "You'll be fine Mr Anderson."

Blaine walked down the small corridor to the left of the reception desk. The walls were covered with red velvet and pictures of famous recording artists. There was no way that Blaine was going to be as famous as the people that decorated this wall. He approached a dark brown door with a silver plaque that read "_Room 23, Mr A Smith" _He stood in front of the door and composed himself. After a few minutes he shakily knocked on the door twice. Blaine could here footsteps behind the door and a few seconds later, the door swung open. A man in his mid-forties held his hand out to greet Blaine. He was smartly dressed, a blue and white chequered shirt, Black trousers, Black shoes and a dark blue tie. Blaine extended his hand to meet Mr Smith's in a firm handshake. "Good Afternoon Blaine, come in and take a seat" Blaine walked into the room. It was a simple layout in the room, a small black desk was in the corner of the room by a window and on the opposite side of the room was a small stage with a microphone and amp. Blaine crossed the room and sat in a black leather chair just in front of a glass coffee table and Mr Smith sat opposite him. "So, Blaine, what song are you going to perform?"

"Well actually I'm going to sing an original song for you, I wrote it back when I was in high school and it's called not alone"

"OK; and what was your inspiration for the song?"

Does he tell him about Kurt? Will that ruin his career before it's even started?

"It's about me and my lifelong partner"

"Are you still with her?"

"Erm, no, _he _died"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to start?"

"Sure"

Blaine walked over to the small stage and adjusted the microphone so it was stool height. He sat on a simple brown stall and began strumming lightly on his guitar. His voice accompanied the guitar chords and sweet music filled the room. Blaine hadn't sung or played since Kurt's death; it felt natural and made him smile. Blaine hasn't smiled a proper smile in weeks.

"_It don't matter what'll come to be, you know our love is all we need, our love is all we need to make it through"_

A single tear fell down Blaine's cheek gracefully. He would always miss Kurt. Nothing would change that.

"That was beautiful, magical. Thank you Blaine, we'll be in touch."

Blaine left the room and exited the studio, ignoring the receptionist's attempts at conversation. He walked hastily back to his apartment; when he reached the front door he fumbled with his keys. He swung the door open; closed it behind him; and sunk against the door. He tucked his legs up to his chest and started crying freely.

"Blaine?"

Kurt was still there.

"Blaine, you need to stop thinking about me"

"Kurt, I can't. You can't expect me to just forget about you and move on, pretending you don't exist. You were, _are_, the best thing to have ever happened to me. I can't lose you; you're all I have left."

Kurt disregarded everything Blaine said and continued to say, "Now stop crying and go to scandals. Find someone new Blaine" Kurt's image faded. He dissolved into thin air. He was gone. Was that it? Blaine stood up, the tears still fell. He rushed around the apartment. No Kurt. He ran back out the door and hurried to the elevator. After a few seconds it hadn't arrived so Blaine turned and ran in the opposite direction and headed for the stairs. He needed to go out. He needed a drink. He guessed...he'd head to Scandals.

...

Blaine stepped out into the dark, familiar streets. He turned right and headed down to scandals. He'd never been there without Kurt; there were too many memories there.

_Blaine was drunk; leaning on Kurt for support as he could hardly stand up. Kurt popped him up against the car whilst he unlocked the doors. Blaine leant forward and started kissing Kurt's neck passionately. "No Blaine, not today" Blaine leant back with his hands held up in mock surrender. He sat on the edge of the back seat and laid down; pulling Kurt on top of him. "Blaine, get off me"_

"_Kurt, let's just do it. I love you and you love me, why wait?"_

"_I don't want to have sex in the back of my car; not when you've spent all night dancing with Sebastian. Blaine, tonight you haven't made me feel special, you were more interested in __**him**__ that's why." _

_Kurt stepped back from the car and Blaine got out; heading away from the car._

"_Where are you going Blaine?"_

"_I'm sorry if I wanted to be spontaneous and fun. I think I'm just going to walk home" Blaine started to walk home; ignoring the calls from Kurt. _

Blaine stood outside of scandals just remembering that night. He was ridiculous. Even though he and Kurt had moved on, he couldn't help but remember all the things that had gone wrong in their relationship; all the times he'd messed up. Now Kurt was gone and that was his fault too.

He walked into the club and the smell of beer and sex filled his nostrils. Why was he even here? He walked over to the bar and ordered a beer. Blaine rarely drank but today was going from bad to worse. Kurt had gone, again. This time he probably wasn't going to come back. His beer arrived and he emptied half of its contents down his throat in one gulp. The alcohol warmed his throat and felt homely.

A tall man, about his age, approached him. He was handsome, nothing like Kurt but handsome nevertheless. "Hey there, fancy coming home with me tonight?"He winked at Blaine, eyeing him up like a wolf salivating over his prey. Jerk. Blaine lifted his hand to reveal the gold band that hugged his ring finger, the ring that Kurt had put there 15 years ago...15 years ago today. The guy made some sound of disapproval and walked into the crowd of people again. 15 years. 15 years. Blaine couldn't push back that thought. If he hadn't off messed up, Kurt would still be here. Blaine ordered a tall glass of vodka and pushed it past his lips and they kept coming.

...

Half an hour later, Blaine was completely wasted. He sat on the steps situated behind Scandals.

_"Blaine, why'd you do it? You let me believe you loved me and now I'm going to make you pay." Eli held the knife tightly. "You kissed me, made me fall in love with you and all the time you were thinking of him. You're going to pay for that. 14 years it took you to tell me the real reason why you couldn't go out with me. For 14 years you never spoke to me. I turn up here, trying to see where I went wrong and you tell me you left me to marry him. You broke my heart Blaine, and now I'm going to break yours." Eli advanced on Blaine, knife at the ready. Kurt stood just 2 feet away, watching the scene unfold. Blaine looked over to Kurt with pleading eyes, wanting him to do something, anything. Kurt stood in front of Blaine just as Eli lowered the knife. 14 years ago Blaine saved Kurt from a slushie attack and now Kurt saved him from an actual attack. Eli dropped the knife and left. Blaine sunk to the floor holding Kurt in his arms, tears fell from Blaine's eyes and splashed onto Kurt's face. _

"_B-blaine" Blaine pulled back just enough to see Kurt's face. "I-i love you" Kurt's face seemed to relax as the last drop of life left him. He lay limp in Blaine's arms, lifeless. It was all Blaine's fault._

Blaine stood up from where he was and walked over to the busy streets of Ohio. The cars moved at a fast constant speed. He saw a green Audi advancing and at just the right moment stepped out into the road. He fell back against the hard surface and hit his head on the road. Blood gushed out from his head.

A bright white light, that's all Blaine could see. Then there was a black silhouette reaching their hand out to him. _Kurt. _Blaine stretched his hand out towards Kurt who pulled him further into the light. The sounds of screams and cars were just background noise. Kurt pulled him close and kissed him gently, together again at last.

A/N: So, what did you guys think? It's my first time at writing something like this. :) Can you guys find the _it's time_ lyrics? ;)


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